How to Let Go… ❤

“Breathe in what you need, and breathe out what you don’t need… let go…” — Lea, the self-compassion teacher, would guide us during our community workshops together.

I sat there wondering, a bit perplexed: “Letting go sounds really nice. But how do I actually doooooo that?”

I mustered the courage to ask during a half-day retreat, after her mentioning this “letting go” for weeks on end: “Lea, ummm… you keep talking about this letting go. What does that mean in practice? How do you actually do that?”

She responded: “Well, maybe it’s less about letting go — and more about reorienting. Instead of thinking about the thing you’re trying to let go of, reorienting to the heart…”

I had been sitting with more conflicts in relationships — with a dear friend, with a family member — than I had ever experienced in my 38-years of living. I was showing up more fully, more real and with my own needs and being open to more feedback of what they each experienced from me. Openings and conditions for truth were being created. And in them, also came this messiness, discomfort, and new territory of exploring intimacy and challenges in relationships.

I tried on this reorientation that Lea said — essentially it was trying on feeling more and thinking less. It worked. Not like a total magic pill, but close — it did bring a momentary…